"America's oil industry is terribly misunderstood. When a lot of people hear "364 pipeline spills in 2012" they think it's a big mess, like a nearly realized advent calendar of crap. What they fail to see is a revolutionary energy distribution system about to achieve NATIONWIDE COVERAGE.
And remember, that's not just gas or oil flowing through the streets of Arkansas--it's dilbit, the thick toxic hydrocarbon stew produced by tarsands. So roam wherever, and take your energy source with you! That s--t is sticky as hell, it's not like you're going to be able to get it off."
Authorities are deciding whether to charge anyone after police say a 6-year-old was shot in the head by a 4-year-old in New Jersey.
The older boy is in serious condition.
Authorities are still investigating how the younger child obtained the .22-caliber rifle from his family's Toms River home Monday night.
Police Chief Michael Mastronardy says the children were outside the 4-year-old's home when the boy went inside, got the rifle and shot the 6-year-old about 15 yards away. It's not clear if the 4-year-old pulled the trigger or if the rifle accidentally discharged.
The parents of the 4-year-old were home at the time.
It's going to be one of those days.
I can just feel it.
News you can use all day
(Petunia and Pals) It's starting: Beyoncé-gate! What did the President know, and when did he know it?
Re-branding - Meet the New! Improved! Lemon-scented! Republican Party! Except that their new website never mentions the word Republican (well, once: down in the footer). Gotta love the BuzzFeed-style listcicle: 13 Animals That Are Really Bummed on ObamaCare's Third Birthday. (Political Wire)
Cardinal Santorum - That frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter, Rick Santorum never got the secret memo from obvious anagram Reince Priebus to ix-nay on the ay-bashing g-ay:
“I’m sure you could go back and read stories, oh, you know, ‘The Republican party’s going to change. This is the future.’ Obviously that didn’t happen,” Santorum told the Des Moines Register. “I think you’re going to see the same stories written now and it’s not going to happen. The Republican party’s not going to change on this issue. In my opinion it would be suicidal if it did.”
And in related news, the State of Montana didn't get the memo either: Montana Republicans voted against repealing statutory laws against being gay.
Sports! - Abundantly be-chinned Mitch McConnell delayed a judicial nominee confirmation vote so he could watch basketball. Um, are there not 100 Senators, they really could not vote without him? (Think Progress)
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